One of the hardest things to do for most people is delaying their
immediate gratification. We live in a society where we want everything and we
want it now, without much consideration to its future impact.
This attitude is learned from a young age where kids want things immediately
and parents more often than not give in. However being able to delay immediate
gratification has a direct impact on our success in life, and not just
financial, but in all aspects of life. By now you might know that besides
finance my other passion is psychology (not surprising since I studied it for 4
years) and one of my all times favourite study is the Standford Marshmallow Test. If you are not
familiar with the test here is a quick summary.
"Years ago, psychologist Walter
Mischel conducted an experiment on a group of four-year olds. Each child was
offered a marshmallow, and was told that they could have it now, or if they
could wait several minutes, they could have two. Some children grabbed the
marshmallow on the spot but many of them were able to hold off. The interesting
part of the study was that Mischel followed up on the children as adults and he
discovered that those who didn’t eat their marshmallows that day were generally
more self-motivated, successful in school and considered emotionally
intelligent. On the other hand those who simply couldn’t wait generally had low
self-esteem and had suffered in school, branded by both their teachers and
parents as being stubborn, envious and easily frustrated"
This study has been replicated by David Walsh Check out this
YouTube clip. There is a very strong link between delaying
gratification and success in life, the earlier we learn this skill the better
off we will be. However it is never too late to learn how to delay your
immediate gratification; here are some tips that can help you along the way.
1.
Make an Advance Decision and Know What You Want
Get your decision
in writing. Try to be as detailed as possible about your decision as well as
the expected outcome. Sometimes it can be hard to say NO to things, you have to
have a clear picture of what you want in order to resist the urge.
2.
Know what is Important to You- Know Your Values.
In order to be
able to delay immediate gratification you need to know what is important to
you, what do you value to most? Is it the satisfaction of owning a brand new car or
that you own a pre-owned car debt free?
Know your values.
3.
Have a Plan
I don’t think
that every aspect of one’s life should be planned out in detailed but in order
to reach your goals, whatever they maybe, you need to have a plan. You should have
a financial
plan to
reach your financial goals, a career plan to
reach your career goals etc.
If you have a plan it
becomes easier to resists the urge of immediate satisfaction, you may be more
conscious of your behaviour and how they fit in your plan.
4.
Prioritize
Have clear priorities
in life this can be financial priorities or just general priorities in life,
such as school comes before entertainment, family before friends etc. Having clear priorities
will go a long way in delaying gratification.
5.
Reward Yourself
If you have long
term goals, I highly recommend you set-up some short term goals and reward
yourself for reaching them. Sometimes it can be very difficult to keep focus on
long term goals if we don’t see some rewards, giving yourself small rewards can
be very powerful.
Delaying
gratification is not an easy task, but it is something that can be learned over
time, following some of these steps will help you in the process. However do
not stop at these there are tones of resources online on this topic take some
time and go through some of them.
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