Thursday, October 29, 2015

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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

They say love can be sweeter the second time around. Could they possibly have it right? It falls to reason that it just may, because even though you may possibly have been hurt immeasurably in your first relationship, that also means that you have learnt things the hard way. And it is only when we experience trying times that we fully appreciate the wealth of knowledge that such circumstances bring.
So even if your first relationship was a cacophony of drama as bad as the Kardashians, you can now say that you have at least, if nothing else, gained an understanding of how to eschew said drama, and steer clear of all sources of it.
Whether your relationship ended on a bitter note or with an entente cordiale the likes of which would put France to shame, you would now have learnt how to approach simple matters pertaining to courtship. So, here are 10 reasons why your first relationship will not only provide you with insight, but also enable your second relationship to surpass the first.
10. Mistakes taught you the lesson they ought to
Mistakes are instructive. Sure, they can feel painful and frustrating, but we can all say without a shadow of a doubt, that mistakes help us grow as a person. For instance, if you were anxiously attached to your partner in your first relationship, you obviously know what not to do now. It is essential to remember that your mistakes do not define you. They only pave the way for a better relationship.
9. You have acquired great personal growth
If your first serious relationship took place when you were in leading strings (you may take that to mean high school) and the second during your wise university years, you need not be told of the personal growth that you would have undergone between this period. But this is still pertinent regardless of your age, because having faced with all the things you don’t want, you now have a clearer idea of what you do want. And knowing who you are and what you want is the first step towards acquiring it.
8. You let the little things go
Oftentimes, in our first experience of a relationship, we either tend to make a mountain of a mole with regards to arguments, or simply abandon hope and succumb to the quiet weight of a seemingly conflict-riddled relationship. When in fact, what we truly ought to be doing is refusing to capitulate and endeavouring to realise the significance of letting the little things go.
7. You’re emotionally balanced
Sure, we have all been forced to contend with that familiar pang of heartache, and been through an experience or two that exemplifies it, but all of that has now made us into an emotionally mature and well rounded individual. Being in a mature adult relationship means that you understand that there are certain things over which you yield no control and thus cannot change, and are therefore, capable of fully accepting said things. For instance, if you know your partner’s past upsets you, then you don’t question them about it. And if you do, then you accept the answer they give you.
6. You’re more pragmatic
After you have weathered the storm and endured the loss of a relationship, you are more realistic and better acquainted with the norms and rules that govern a relationship. This also means that you are privy to the fact that love is not without charge; you have to pay your way by giving a part of yourself every day.
5. The sex is infinitely better
Science has spoken. According to research, women tend to have a better capacity for multiple orgasms with age. As for men? They tend to be less self conscious in bed with experience. So, there really is no getting away from this fact; sex only grows to be finer with time and experience.
4. You know the importance of communication
Our need to communicate with another human being is inescapable. And to be able to articulate our needs and desires is crucial to any relationship. In your first relationship, you may not be recognisant of the craft or importance of good communication with our partner. Discussions pertaining to how the day was spent are not the only things that a good conversation make. According to a research, being able scratch beneath the surface and have in depth conversations makes a couple feel more connected and stimulates the same brain signals as sex.
3. You know honesty is not overrated
Your first time around, you may let your partner get away with concealing aspects of his/her life. You may turn the other cheek while he/she decides to be dishonest with you, whether it is the little things or large ones. But as you advance into your relationships, you learn the anguish and misery that such acts bring. And your second time around, you are determined not to settle for a deceitful partner and relationship.
2. You grasp the significance of commitment
This works in close association with maturity. If an individual is invested in a relationship, he/she will show markedly distinct signs of it. In your first relationship, you or your partner or both may not be fully aware of the meaning of being committed to a relationship. It doesn’t only mean calling when you say you will, or showing up on time to a date; but also seeing your future with each other, and setting up goals to reach that future.
1. You know your worth
You have seen the world, you have come to terms with yourself, and your standards have now been raised. And if, in the past, you settled for less than you deserved, you don’t any longer, because you now know your worth.
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